Monster Monday: The Gate

Happy Monster Monday, fiends! Today we’re taking a trip down memory lane to a movie that scared the hell out of me as a kid: The Gate. I re-watched it recently, and while it didn’t scare me nearly as much as it used to, it is still a lot of fun. Starring a pocket-sized Stephen Dorff, The Gate follows the standard movie plot: kids unwittingly open gate to hell, kids battle demon minions and giant elder god, and kids close gate to hell using the Bible and a heavy metal record. You know, the usual.

Pro tip: Do not break open suspicious rocks, and do not read incantations mysteriously left behind by said suspicious rocks. Even Stephen Dorff thinks it’s a bad idea.

The tiny little demon minions scared the bejesus out of me the first time I watched this movie, and I’m checking under my desk right now to make sure there aren’t any of the little beasties running around, so I highly recommend The Gate as a bit of ’80s horror fun and as a way to traumatize young children.

Naked mole rats of perdition. (I’ve already copyrighted that as a band name, so don’t even try it.)
So damn creepy.
Giant Elder Naked Mole Rat Demon, first of his name.
Also this happens. So, yeah, the bejesus were officially scared out of me when I saw this at 5 or 6 years old.

I have a couple of fun things planned for you guys this week, including my It review, so stay tuned, kiddies. Until then, stay clear of hellmouths, avoid reciting incantations of any kind, and don’t hang out with Stephen Dorff.

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